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Pretty Little Things

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Have You Tried the Sex Calculator?


I think it’s safe to say that there comes a point in everyone’s life when you wonder how many calories you can actually burn during sex. You can look shiftily at the ground if you want but we know the truth! Fortunately there is no need to wonder any more because, thanks to the weird thing that is the internet, there is now a sex calculator for this very purpose.

It’s pretty straightforward, you fill in the relevant sections, much like a BMI calculator (just with a fun conclusion instead of a depressing one) and the magic calculator can tell you how many calories you can burn while you’re deep in the throes of passion.

Choose you body type from selections including ‘Skinny Minnie’ and ‘More cushion for the pushing’, then select from six positions (only six?!), your ‘style’ and finally, how long it lasted.

We don’t know how accurate this calculator is but being the brainchild of UK Medix we’re going to accept that there has to be a level of medical expertise there. I mean doctors are pretty clever people, you know?


Let’s not forget though, happy humper’s, it’s not all about the calorie burn, as Sarah Bailey, from UK Medix, points out, “If you’re going to treat this time together like it’s just a work out, your partner may get a bit offended.” On the other hand your partner may well be interested on finding out their own calorie burn. Let’s face it, this is more fun than going to the gym, now if you can figure out a way to incorporate some dead lifts you’ll never need the gym again!

While the words ‘sex calculator’ previously meant writing 5318008 (also 55318008) and turning your calculator upside down while in year 9 maths class, this new take is definitely more up our street. The real question is, will you be sharing your sexy time workout results on your Facebook page for your mum to see?